My Meatless Month

31 days. 31 days without meat. Was it difficult? Not really. The reason I decided to spend one month of my life without eating meat was not very altruistic. Some people I know are vegetarians or vegans with a cause. I am your average absent-minded and indecisive female who just wanted to practice her self-discipline a little bit. As I said, it was not hard. Mainly because I don't like meat so much.

Anyhow, I do recommend this experiment to people. By excluding something from your diet, you need to be much more creative with the remaining foods. (The assumption here being that a) one cooks, and b) one cooks other dishes than pasta and veggies). There are so many delicious ingredients out there to be discovered. In this case, I re-discovered beans, spinach, mushrooms, porridge and much more. I have also stilled my cravings with sushi. A newly discovered treat is ginger tea. 

Cravings. I thought that I'd have cravings for meat. A couple of times it did indeed happen. The first time I really wanted to eat my favorite Indian dish, Chicken Jalfrezi. The second time I was about to stick my fork into a plate filled with the Swedish delicacy pyttipanna. The almost a storm intervened. So, I can proudly say that I managed to stay away from meat for a month. The most important result is that I did it. I don't feel physically healthier or fitter. My skin has gone crazy. The challenge was not so great to begin with.

But I did it. (However, I would probably never manage to stop eating cheese for a month). 

Sunday

Food again. It's interesting how one starts craving for certain things. My things include chili, cheese and garlic. Sunday today. Lovely, lovely Sunday.

My plan is to work out, study Spanish and spend time with friends. Simple is good, I think. These things make me happy. 

[Joy] 10 Joyful Things

• Listening to the rain smattering against the window while cuddling under a warm blanket
• A tasty croissant and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice
• A really good conversation
• Finishing that puzzle that is called a translation
• Laughing until you cry. With no reason. 
• The beauty of nature
• Feeling that pang of inspiration 
• Creating
• Coming to a new place for the very first time
• Returning home

[Joy] Joy is.. saying no!

A couple of weeks back I decided to stop drinking coffee. As it turned out, it wasn't tasty anymore. The reasoning behind the decision was simply that what's the point in doing something that does not bring me in any joy. So I stopped. And I haven't looked back (yet)(who knows what will happen in the future).

And suddenly I realize that my life is slightly more joyful than before because...

...instead of coffee, I am now drinking tea. What's more fun than experimenting with different types of tea?

...it's easier to get up in the morning. Before I was unable to cope in the morning before having my coffee, now I cope a lot better since I know I won't be getting any coffee anyway.

The point being? I think that sometimes it is a good idea to break a routine to see what life can bring us. The change might be a positive one.

[Joy] Joy is... Learning!

Her big brown eyes lit her pale face when she started to tell us about her adventures in Japan. The best thing, she said, was all the things she learnt by talking to people and hearing their stories.

The most amazing thing about language learning is the moment one realizes that s/he can understand what the world around is saying, the ability to make oneself understood in a world of aliens.

The best moments in her life were spent in bars with anonymous people who recounted their adventures in foreign lands. They taught her so much, and inspired her to walk her own path, a path unknown to the rest.

You cannot hold on to past happiness, you need to go for it. Seeking happiness will not automatically increase one's happiness. Rather, keep doing something you like every day, one day you will get there. And if the final destination is not what you planned it to be, at least you will have had happy moments very single day of your life.

[500 Days][Joy] Word Of the Day: Decadence

So, I'm visiting my parents and drinking Baileys from a wine glass. Only silence and the scent from candles surround me. Haruki Murakami's newest book awaits me and life feels generally very good.
To be honest, my life is far from decadent - BUT I do like the word. As it turns out, though, it is a very boring word to translate.

On the ferry today - while taking too much an interest in the people around me - I did even scribble down a few words on decadence.

And today's language lesson:

Swedish: dekadans
Russian: декаданс
Polish: dekadencja
Slovak: dekadencia
Hungarian: dekadencia
Spanish: decadencia

What a boring word... Finnish, we trust in you to spice things up a little bit...
Finnish: rappio THERE WE HAVE IT :)

Being Joyful

A couple of weeks back we had some type of group ther... oops, sorry, team-building at my job. One of the things we had to do was to say positive things about other people in the group. Sounds easy, doesn't it? It seems that it usually is easier to be kind to others than being kind to yourself.

Anyhow, I had hoped to be called intelligent, smart, quirky, clever. Instead, what do three different people tell me? "You are so positive", "Always with a smile and seem genuinely happy", "Working hard"... and "joyful". That is a great compliment, because it is something that I have always tried to be. Basically I don't like grumpy people. so there is no excuse for me to be one.

However, being joyful is sometimes a hard job. Essentially it probably something of a personality trait and a human flaw. Someone once asked me what the point was in pretending to be happy. I believe that happiness is a part of the self - even if everything is going terribly wrong, one still needs to stay happy. And that sometimes means forcing myself to be happy. It is about pretending, it's about finding that inner happy place filled with serenity, solitude, light and faith in people and the world.

Picture

[Joy] It was a dark and foggy morning

The clock had not yet struck eight. The air was heavy with humidity, the light from the street lamps almost failed to make it through the thick fog that nearly touched the ground. The world was filled with an eerie silence - there was not a single soul on the street. A big white church cast some of its light onto the street. I was just waiting for the film crew to show up.

In moments like these, a strange feel of joy may come over me. It is a feeling of calm, security and happiness.

The topic of this month's NaBloPoMo is joy. Instead of following the prompts, I am planning to share the joy instead. Shared joy is the best joy.

Today's quote on happiness: “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” (Albert Camus)

Today's happy memory: tasty coffee + summer + trip abroad (Estonia) = many reasons to be happy

Right now this moment: feeling happy and cozy under a warm blanket. I look around at our new home, and it really feels like a home, a place to be happy in.

September Prompt #1: Talking vs. Silence

The September Prompts are part of September's NaBloPoMo, with the topic being Healing. You can read more about the topic here


Before starting with the first prompt, I would like to dedicate a few lines to the topic at hand and its meaning. Healing? Why healing? Being human means that things happen to us. There are times we do things to others, to ourselves. Sometimes these things are good, sometimes they are not. To me, the process of healing is closely connected to the processes of forgetting and letting go. Essentially, in order to have a happy existence and find inner peace, we need to heal in so many ways. Healing might be something we don't actively think about - at least I don't - even when it touches upon some of our core activities. Engaging in meditation, going to therapy, having long heart-to-heart conversations with friends, reading self-help books. In many cases these activities are related to the need to heal. 

The problem is that in order to heal, we need to be honest. With ourselves and those around us. We need to know what it is we are healing from. What kind of traumas do we need to understand and let go of? And we need to know how, how are we going to heal?


Monday, September 1, 2014

Question: Do you find it more helpful to talk things out or to let things quietly rest? 

I see this question as a starting point, an attempt to answer the question "how". I am one of those people who rarely speaks things out, especially not if it is something that touches me deeply. Many of the feelings associated with burdens - shame, weakness, fear and hopelessness - are feelings that I do not want to share. It is often the case that these issues are so overwhelming and big that I need to deal with them on my own. Friends and family give something else - they give the space to breathe, to have a positive exchange of ideas and thoughts NOT related to these negative feelings. It does not mean that it is not the right thing to do - to hide the feelings and hope that they will go away. They will not, instead they will function as an obstacle, preventing one from finding peace. There is, however, a way to cope and to heal in silence.

When more people are involved - families, groups or sometimes even a whole nation, it is important to talk, to analyse, to compromise, and to find a way forward. Look at Europe, a continent with a history of bloody wars. A continent where the current situation is that the extreme right is gaining popularity and the general feeling seems to be that of being lost. As a society, we need a dialogue, to find out what is wrong and how to make things different. The first steps are awareness and acceptance. Awareness of the fact that something needs to be healed, and acceptance for the fact that not everyone will agree. Acceptance is needed when looking in the mirror, it takes courage to accept that it is, indeed, an imperfect world we live in. And it requires courage to admit that even sensitive topics need to be discussed and that few participants are completely innocent in a conflict.

I write of conflicts and problems when answering this question. I don't think people are always aware of the conflicts within themselves and within the groups they belong to. But essentially healing is about finding a solution to a problem - whether it is done through talking or by the means of silent reflections and observations. In times of distress - and of joy - I often turn to taoism. Again, it is spiritual path that I do not talk about much, but it is there to guide me, in the good times, and in the bad. 

My Thoughts On My Body And Other Issues

This is the final post I am writing for the August Writing Prompts. Instead of picking a particular prompt, I decided to mix and match them, in order to analyse my own thoughts on body issues and self-confidence. You may find a list of the prompts here

My first memory of being aware of my body took place in a bath tub a couple of decades plus some years ago. That was the time I told my mother that I was fat because my thighs were big.
She said I wasn't fat, besides being fat doesn't have anything to do with one's thighs, only the tummy.
I do not know where the idea and consciousness of being fat came from. My surroundings were not too obsessed with thinness. Not that I recall, at least.

I was more than a head taller than the other girls in my class. I have not grown a single centimeter since I was 11 years old and still, my ID card says that I am of average height.

My period started before I knew what it was.

I had no idea what happened to me and already then I was hiding within my shell, not wanting people to know about my thoughts and secrets. Writing about this topic is difficult because it is something I have never really wanted to talk about. All these years, I have somehow detached my body from my mind. The body is not really me. This detachment between mind and body was probably based on some type of survival instinct. Instead of having a body that the world would accept, I decided to develop my mind. A good idea, in theory. The problem with striving for perfection - whether it is physical or intellectual - is that one will never be quite good enough.

I know now that I am neither fat nor ugly. But for a long time I felt invisible. I still do, sometimes. Growing up with that feeling has made it difficult to socialize with people. I never felt the need to be called beautiful, and I do think that this is an unnecessary compliment. It is much nicer to be called intelligent. If I ever have a little girl, I would want her to appreciate such traits as kindness, intelligence, generosity and humbleness. Beauty is but a fleeing notion.

Sometimes I feel that I would like to be more daring about my appearance - to play with make-up, dress up and have more fun with fashion. One of my promises for self-pampering last week was to wear make-up, I actually did and it felt good. Who would not want to look like this:

In general, I'd rate my confidence as good. Or rather, I don't care too much of what others think. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own happiness. Bad hair days don't exist if you don't let them. Having a decent level of self confidence does not mean that one is always happy and that everything is perfect, is more about accepting the imperfect self. Accepting the imperfections is also easier if appearance is not so important to begin with. Some people I know struggle a lot with their self confidence, and sometimes I just want to tell them that it is so much easier if one forgets about the rest of the world and focuses on oneself. At the same it is difficult to give anyone advice on matters like this one, because essentially self confidence comes from within.

Last but not least, I have one confession to make, I may feel OK with the way I look, but looking better than OK is scary. By being wrapped in my own invisibility, I don't need to feel people looking at me, I can go on with my own business in my own little bubble. So, if there is something I would like to "achieve" confidence-wise, it'd actually be the stretching of my own limits, to see how stunning I could actually be. Not because I'd have to, but because it'd be fun. Confidence, then, is more than just accepting and being happy about oneself, it is also about letting the world in.

Summer Beginnings!

Good morning from a cloudy Sweden! 

Yesterday we celebrated Walpurgis Night here in the north - it's party-time, big time! both in Finland and Sweden with students celebrating, bonfires being lit and most people having a good time. J and I had a nice dinner at home. We both like cooking and exploring new recipes so it was the ideal evening for us. 

Today is also when the summer starts. At least in my world. I am very much of a project thinker and self-challenger. If I don't challenge myself, I don't get anything done. So, I have been thinking about ways to entertain myself and challenged to create. 

Here are some of the things I would like to focus on (so nothing new under the sun): 

• Fitness
• Food
• Flexibility
• Creativity

So, three F's and one C. 

Fitness to me is concept that includes a lot of things -  it means fitness in the traditional sense (to look fit) but it also includes feeling fit, eg energetic, well and healthy. Looking + feeling = being fit is key to being happy, I think. Mind you, it's not about satisfying and becoming a part of a norm (to look good), rather, physical activity breeds energy. An energy makes us happier. How to be fit, then, is the question? It is my belief that what works for me is to have a challenge and a plan. Surely there are some forms of exercise which should ALWAYS be present in any lifestyle (long walks, for instance),but my thought is that a mix of strength, cardio and stretching is the best. This opinion is not based on any scientific evidence - it is what feels good. So, the plan is to do strength training 2-3 times a week, running 3-4 a week and yoga as often as possible. The goal is to run 15K by the end of the summer (31 August) and run a half-marathon in the autumn. 

½ orange, 1/4 pineapple, 1 kiwi + some flavoured sour milk (not pictured)

Food is always important! Apart from the obvious reasons (we need to eat in order to live), it is also a lot of fun. I love looking for recipes and exploring in the kitchen, looking for ways to combine healthy and tasty. Now this isn't really a challenge, but I do want to learn as much as possible about nutrition and the world cuisine. I will however try to eat healthily :)

Delicious tropical smoothie

Flexibility. As with fitness, flexibility comes in two forms: physical flexibility and mental flexibility. The physical form of flexibility can be trained through various forms of exercise, for instance yoga. Mental flexibility is as important but more difficult to grasp. It is about avoiding being static and rigid; it's about curiosity, finding ways and paths; it is also about flow and trust; about letting go of perfectionism and the need to control life. I believe this mental flexibility may be achieved through meditation and being without trying to control, learning without ever being fully-taught and listening without intervening.

The last of the four points is creativity. Creativity comes in many forms, depending on how one defines it and what meaning it bears. In my life, creativity is language; creativity is colour, and it is also joy. So, for me to fulfill my yearning for creativity, it can be in the form of planning projects (like this one) or learning a language, or by the use of words. And this is what I shall do. I have no specific goal to achieve, other than the goal of spending at least 30 minutes a day in writing or translating. 

More Energy? Yes, Please.

Spring is here! Some people start bubbling with energy as soon as the sun shows itself. Others (like me) get tired. I have tried to make a conscious decision to increase my energy levels - sometimes you have to work a little bit to find energy. 

So, there are essentially two factors that will have an impact on your energy levels. The first one is food. I usually feel very heavy and drowsy after eating candy and carbs. Oily food is also a big no-no. The second factor is exercise. Exercise in itself is valuable, but I find that exercising outdoors is what makes the difference.  Tea (preferably green and preferably with spices) also feels energizing.

Lemonade must be the best thing ever. It's refreshing and the flavours are endless. If you make it at home, you know what you're putting into your mouth as well. I would also say that the colour yellow is very cheerful. 

Colours - or in this case, polka dots - brighten any day. 

Healthy food - tasty and satisfying :) Here: porridge with cinnamon and raspberries. Yum!

Simplifying Life (pt. I)

The plan for this afternoon is to start packing. Yes. I have a lot of books, clothes and stuff to go through. The feeling I have at the moment is that I don’t want to bring most of this stuff to Sweden, I want to get rid of it. The books are dear of course, so they might stay with me for all eternity.

When looking for inspiration, I found this page – 30 items in a wardrobe, no more, no less. I think I can do that.

Let’s see how this goes

Vzácne maličkosti. [SK: Precious Little Things]

When I moved to Poland a few years back (oh, whom am I kidding? It’s almost a century ago. Over a century. Nevermind) my mother’s friend gave me a small purse with quite a lot of zlotys. She was working at a ferry at the time, and passengers had left her tips that she could not use in Finland.

This little purse turned out to be a lifesaver; it quite literally kept me afloat. First I forgot my bank card in the ATM at home (not the most clever thing to do right before moving abroad). Then someone nicked my “real” purse in Warsaw. All I had was that little purse with Polish coins. That kept me alive for the next week or so until my bank card arrived.

Sometimes it is the little things we do that can help someone else tremendously.

Yesterday I was writing here about my not working on my thesis. After clicking on “publish”, my boyfriend helped me to finish my survey and to share it on facebook. Now known and unknown friends have taken their time to either respond to it or to share it with their friends. Ďakujem vám všetkým!

hlúposť [SK: stupidity, nonsense, silliness, trifle, simplicity]

How much time do we spend thinking about how stupid, annoying, idiotic or whatnot the people around us are?

Pictures like this one surround us on Facebook:

My question is: why do we care so much? Sure, people who are seemingly stupid might make our life a bit more difficult, but why waste so much time on thinking about them?

Maybe someone else’s stupidity is just an assumption. Maybe it’s not their intention to be stupid; maybe they know something I/you/we don’t know; maybe, just maybe, we are the ones being stupid? And sure. Then there are idiots. Real ones. But – is it possible to change someone’s idiotic behaviour by complaining about it?

It is my own personal (and highly subjective) opinion that by letting people be the way they are and not stressing about it too much, we save a lot of energy that can be used on more positive thoughts and feelings.

Just saying.

Stuff On My Mind

Yesterday I attended a training on Presentation Skills.

One of the other groups spoke about positive thinking, how a positive attitude might change your life. A couple of years back I was really into positive psychology; that has somehow been shifted aside now (as has my whole focus on psychology) due to the fact that the world is filled with tremendously interesting things and activities, but it is a fascinating field. However, maybe it is more important to  engage in creative thinking than in positive thinking.

Now I am a believer in positive thinking; not so much because I think it will change my mind, but because life is easier and less stressful that way.

A little tip for when you are annoyed or experiencing negative feelings: take a step back, analyse the situation, look at your feelings and trace your steps of thinking back to the cause for your distress – does the actual feeling match the initial cause? Is it really worth it? Probably not.

Happy Thursday!

10 Things I’m Happy About Right Now

After a stormy few days (hello hormones), I’m totally zen now. Totally, totally. But just to kick off the day with some extra positive feelings, I decided to list down 10 things that I’m happy about right now.

• I’m having very delicious coffee each morning. Thank you mum for importing it all the way to Slovakia.
• We have a lot of fun plans from now on up until Christmas. One of the plans is to avoid shopping centers
• Each morning I get a lot of hugs. This also happened this morning. Bliss.
• I can’t wait to start preparing people’s Christmas presents.
• I’m attending this course on social welfare in a global context and it really makes me think. Good stuff!
• It has dawned upon me that I love teaching and preparing learning material. What to do with this insight, I don’t know yet.
• My body is sore after a good work-out yesterday.
• My boyfriend makes a great partner in crime in most things I do, like the gym.
• There is a whole pile of unread books waiting for my attention – even some in Russian as a friend brought me three books after a visit to Moscow.
• There are good things happening to my friend. That is always important.

 

What are you happy about right now?

And the happiest people on the planet are…

Happiness in all its forms is a theme that I like. What’s there not to like?

But. It becomes a bit funny when one starts comparing countries and different types of happiness. Being happy and being satisfied seem to be entirely different things, at least according to different indeces.

So what do we have out there?

The World Happiness Report – published by the Columbia University with financial aid from the UN, finds that the Scandinavian and some other North European countries, led by Denmark, are the happiest countries in the world. The report, that looks at various issues, can be found here.

The Happy Planet Index shows results very different from those reported by the World Happiness Report. The Index uses the following formula to measure happiness:

 

According to this report, the happiest people can be found in Central and South America, as well as in Vietnam. The highest ranking Nordic country is Norway, at place 29. Interestingly, Norwegians live longer and experience higher well-being than the Costa Ricans, but the ecological footprint is much higher. The ecological footprint measures resource consumption.

More about the Happy Planet Index can be found here.

A third Happiness Index is the OECD Better Life Index. This index is not completely comparable to the others, as it only concerns the OECD-countries. Again, variables come from a wide range of topics, from jobs to work-life balance.

The result? The report can be found here. According to this report, Australians, Swedes and Canadians had the best lives.

 

Happiness is a tricky concept. It’s a subjective feeling that is dependent on various factors. The inclusion and exclusion of factors, and the way these are measured, have a huge impact on the results these reports show.

Happy Thoughts

A bit of coughing, a bit of cold chills. Dark clouds cover the sky and the rain is falling. Head is a bit dizzy and there is the gnawing knowledge of a busy day at work.

Sit down. Relax. Breathe. Hug a little. Drink coffee. Think some nice thoughts:

• It’s Thursday – two more days to the weekend!
• A pile of books and some necessary shopping are waiting.
• The coffee tastes good.
• Soon I get to celebrate 1 year in Bratislava. Wow!
• It’s less than 100 days to Christmas. It wouldn’t be such a big deal, but I ‘m going home to see friends and family.
• It’s fun to write.

 

 

 

 

What is making you happy today?

Feeling Good

There have been times in my life when I haven’t felt so good, times when the anxiety was ripping me apart from the inside. At some point I decided to take a positive outlook on life, and my plan is to maintain it. Life is simply too wonderful. Or, as Oscar Wilde put it, life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

One way to keep a positive outlook on life is to surround oneself with positive people. Sure, life cannot always be perfect – in fact, life can sometimes be unfair, painful and a real pain in the bum. I do, however, believe that it becomes easier if one can see the colours, the rainbows and the reasons to laugh.

The inspiration for this post: I used to work with a middle-aged lady who was always positive and walked her own way in life. The other day I sent her an impromptu message, asking to meet up for coffee. It’s one of the things I’m looking forward to the most right now.