I

Sometimes I wish that I would be one of those people who giggle and hug others for no apparent reason. Like those people who are so damn adorable all the time.

Sometimes I wish that I could forget all my insecurities and just be myself.

Sometimes I wish that I wouldn’t be so modest and such a perfectionist, that I could just let go. Be proud of my achievements and have a certain air of je ne sais quoi and that special shimmer in my eyes.

Obviously it would be a far better idea to spend all this time wasted on wishing on other things.

I’ve got four more days left. I already feel superfluous, not needed. I’m already forgotten although I’m sitting right here. I know it’s for the better – I did not spend 20 years of my life in school just to be an assistant who gets shouted at a lot. I know that the place where I’m going will be about decisions, politics and all other things that excite me. I know this spring will be wonderful with holidays and trips and Hungary. But still, there is a knot in my stomach that refuses to go away.