I don’t know how to write it. In fact, I don’t know if I should write about it at all. After the second Christmas card I was trying to make turned out ugly, I decided to give up for today. Lately I have been feeling both stuck and like a failure. Exams are not going as well as I would like, work is a bit dreary and very unstable, finding a job that somehow relates to my studies seems to be hopeless, my weight horrifies me. What’s the point in making so much effort if it won’t take me anywhere? And my two left hands and lack of creativity guarantee that even the task of making a simple card becomes a huge obstacle. Nothing is going well. In yoga we have been focusing a lot on “just be” lately, but even that is difficult.
I believe that most of the time and with enough decisiveness we are able to change our situations, to move forward. It’s often a question of attitude. The problem is that right now, I don’t know what to do next. When I try to talk about it, people quickly change the subject to something like Christmas decorations. Talking about it in my own head isn’t very clever since it only worsens the situation. What then? Ignore it? Accept it?