Monday, 1 September 2014

September Prompt #1: Talking vs. Silence

The September Prompts are part of September's NaBloPoMo, with the topic being Healing. You can read more about the topic here

Before starting with the first prompt, I would like to dedicate a few lines to the topic at hand and its meaning. Healing? Why healing? Being human means that things happen to us. There are times we do things to others, to ourselves. Sometimes these things are good, sometimes they are not. To me, the process of healing is closely connected to the processes of forgetting and letting go. Essentially, in order to have a happy existence and find inner peace, we need to heal in so many ways. Healing might be something we don't actively think about - at least I don't - even when it touches upon some of our core activities. Engaging in meditation, going to therapy, having long heart-to-heart conversations with friends, reading self-help books. In many cases these activities are related to the need to heal. 

The problem is that in order to heal, we need to be honest. With ourselves and those around us. We need to know what it is we are healing from. What kind of traumas do we need to understand and let go of? And we need to know how, how are we going to heal?

Monday, September 1, 2014

Question: Do you find it more helpful to talk things out or to let things quietly rest? 

I see this question as a starting point, an attempt to answer the question "how". I am one of those people who rarely speaks things out, especially not if it is something that touches me deeply. Many of the feelings associated with burdens - shame, weakness, fear and hopelessness - are feelings that I do not want to share. It is often the case that these issues are so overwhelming and big that I need to deal with them on my own. Friends and family give something else - they give the space to breathe, to have a positive exchange of ideas and thoughts NOT related to these negative feelings. It does not mean that it is not the right thing to do - to hide the feelings and hope that they will go away. They will not, instead they will function as an obstacle, preventing one from finding peace. There is, however, a way to cope and to heal in silence.

When more people are involved - families, groups or sometimes even a whole nation, it is important to talk, to analyse, to compromise, and to find a way forward. Look at Europe, a continent with a history of bloody wars. A continent where the current situation is that the extreme right is gaining popularity and the general feeling seems to be that of being lost. As a society, we need a dialogue, to find out what is wrong and how to make things different. The first steps are awareness and acceptance. Awareness of the fact that something needs to be healed, and acceptance for the fact that not everyone will agree. Acceptance is needed when looking in the mirror, it takes courage to accept that it is, indeed, an imperfect world we live in. And it requires courage to admit that even sensitive topics need to be discussed and that few participants are completely innocent in a conflict.

I write of conflicts and problems when answering this question. I don't think people are always aware of the conflicts within themselves and within the groups they belong to. But essentially healing is about finding a solution to a problem - whether it is done through talking or by the means of silent reflections and observations. In times of distress - and of joy - I often turn to taoism. Again, it is spiritual path that I do not talk about much, but it is there to guide me, in the good times, and in the bad. 

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