In a sinking ship...

At every Monday meeting we get signs that are worse and worse... It's a miracle if the company I work for now survives until Christmas. Needless to say, if the ship sinks, I sink with it as nobody has the strength to try to rescue those who are about to drown. (now, wasn't that a nice metaphor?). Up until now I have tried to ignore all the signs and take the day as it comes, hoping that one day things would be better. I can't do that any longer and I'm afraid. I´m looking for options and there are none to be found... But instead of babbling, there is a list...

* I'm afraid that losing my job would affect the relationship I'm in negatively. It is something very valuable for me and I'm not prepared to see it stumbling in mud.

* I'm worried that any job I found will be a step in the wrong direction careerwise. At this point there are two alternatives above the rest. One would require a completely fresh start and years of studying. My secret dream job that I have never told anyone about is that of a psychologist; but the kind that concentrates on helping people getting happy. The human mind is something that has always fascinated me, the dream has been a secret because I have never dared to tell anyone. The second option would be easier to achieve (maybe): combining project management or consultancy with EU matters. It would be easier because that's where my education is heading, but according to google, the majority of jobs are in Belgium-Holland-France-Germany.
So my fear is that I get stuck in this office-assistant-rut and will never get out of it. Instead of doing something that I really love, I'd end up having a job that doesn't satisfy me (if this is what is going to happen, I might as well have become a lawyer, at least they earn well).

* I do not want to lose my home. I love the flat where I'm living so much that I'm dreaming of buying and re-decorating it one day.


etc...