Maybe the Finnish word for December, joulukuu, describes it the best. It’s the month of Christmas.
Today I felt like crying even though the sour cabbage soup was delicious and I was surrounded by smiling, friendly faces. I was so tired I just wanted to put my head down on someone’s shoulder and forget about the world. I listened to the boys who were joking about everything from go carts to pizza. And the fitness guy who only eats protein. And the northern girl who was so excited about the snow covering Bratislava. Suddenly I felt so old.
Then my friend took me for tea and we talked about group dynamics and wine and energies and escaping Slovakia for Christmas. I don’t know if it was the tea or the company or both, but I did feel better after that short while in the kitchen.
And I’m silently thinking of challenging myself. Asking myself to do that little gesture, to give away a little bit of myself. Mulling over this while listening to melancholic Finnish music really isn’t the best of combinations.