Saturday night already. The nights are definitely getting longer – it’s 10.30 pm and if I turn my head slightly to the right, I can see the last remaining traces of the sunset. I’ve been living with some strange kind of feelings lately – I feel the need to write more, to read more, to do more yoga, to push my own limits, and to somehow find that inner guiding light. I hear all these fabulous stories about life and somewhere inside me I feel like I’m missing out – it’s a stupid feeling that gets in the way for many great actions and experiences in life. Many people choose to stick to the easier alternatives in life– for whatever reason. We are responsible for our decisions: some people might live perfectly well knowing that life could have been different, better. I cannot. So I’m fumbling around in the darkness, looking for a guiding light, a helping hand or at least an ounce of courage. I’m afraid of jumping because of doubt – I doubt my own skills, talents, even knowledge. It’s a completely irrational feeling, but yet, a very real one. Unfortunately, one of the few things I haven’t learned is how to laugh at that irrational feeling and then throw it in the bin.
Well. If I would have lived a few centuries back, my poor little head would most definitely have been saved from these kinds of thoughts.