Thursday, 16 April 2009

Crisis at 25

Today I spent my lunch break on trying to explain my strange weird behaviour, and... behold! It seems that I'm not the only person suffering from loss of appetite, increased sleepiness, fear, isolation from people and a lack in motivation and interest in life. Welcome to the world of the newly graduated.

The reasons for this type of a depression are quite simple: the individual loses the structures that his life were built upon. Life suddenly changes radically and few people are actually prepared for this change.

Some warning signs:

- feeling tired, nervous and/or restless
- lack of interest in life and lack of ability to enjoy anything
- decision-making is suddenly almost impossible
- avoiding people
- loss of self-confidence

o what can you do?

- most importantly, recognise the problem before it's too late. Being aware of the problem helps you see the patterns in your own behaviour. Knowing these patterns and finding out the root of the problem will help you to deal with it.

- be honest, but don't be sorry. Everyone goes through hard times, so the best is probably to be honest about it instead of trying to hide the problem.

- take little steps, do things that you enjoy and be a bit ego-centric: sometimes you need to concentrate on yourself and not the rest of the world. Things tend to sort themselves out.

- ask for help.

My story

I’m a 25-year-old person who graduated from university about a year ago with a first class degree and the luggage full of great memories. Spending a year in Russia was almost as exciting as the fabulous lectures given by some very intelligent people.I have fond memories of sipping gold fish bowls, shopping at Primark and getting soaked in the Manchester rain. After graduating, I moved to Spain. The reason for this move for very much based on love; I was excited, not only was I going to play house with my boyfriend but this was also a chance to find the job of a lifetime and to start creating a wonderful life. Haha, the joke was on me. Reality looks slightly different than I imagined on my little pink cloud. Almost all of my safety net has disappeared, and creating a new one takes time and a lot of effort, finding a sufficient amount of strength seems impossible. Instead of a creative and motivating job, I get to be the messenger who always gets shot. It's comfortable but sometimes I fear that my brain is starting to get mouldy.

All my life I have been that annoyingly ambitious girl, I have worked hard for the results I have achieved,it's been blood, sweat and tears all the way (there is nothing as sweaty as learning the aspects of Russian verbs). It feels that I have moved ten steps backwards instead of taking one little step forward. All I know is that I cannot stay in the situation that I am in now, but finding an alternative is about as easy as finding a needle in a dark tunnel without a torch.

The situation is not hopeless, of course. The only thing I need to do is to be honest, to be honest and hope that people won't run away from me. I believe that I'm suffering from a slight depression, it's a situation for which I need help from family and friends, and I wouldn't say no to a professional either. Maybe a person who doesn't know me, a person who would be able to help see things from the outside. Someone who could give me an objective valuation of what I am, my strengths and my talents. I need help to drag myself out of this dark hole that is trying to suck me in.

No comments: